I need to open a sports bar

It'll be called "Tragedy's", and be all about teams and players that broke their fans hearts - but only if it's funny. Hence, Bison Dele has no home here, because he just became tragic. See, Tragedy's will be a classic dive sports bar, for the fans who love sports - especially long-suffering fans. So USC, Lakers, Yankees, Red Sox fans? Not fucking welcome. You guys always screw up the ambiance with your attitude. My bar will be for people who love the sport and love their team and love to laugh about the losses.

Clippers fan? I'll have Danny Manning's jersey on the wall. Bengals fans? Get on in here! Cubs fans...well, okay, you can come too, even though you don't have the sense of humor of a Clippers fan.

And the beauty of this is that we all get to enjoy it together when your team puts together the occasional run - you can share the excitement!

So what does the bar look like, you ask? It's so easy. A poster-size photo of Brian Bosworth getting his career comically ended by Bo Jackson. A Lions team photo from 2008, signed by Matt Millen. I thought about having something from the '62 Mets, but the Miracle Mets really made them less sympathetic. Besides, I'm a shameless Seattle guy, so why not focus on the 2010 Mariners, one of the worst-hitting teams of all time? Pictures of Dan McGwire on the field for the Seahawks in '92.

This:













I'd have this over the bar:

And this over the door:

Mary Decker and Bill Buckner. The patron saints of Tragedy's.

Rick Mirer, Shawn Bradley, Sam Bowie; hell, I'm political, I'd even have an area for signs for Howard Dean, Bill Bradley and Barry Goldwater. So? Who's in? Who else should be represented on the wall? You guys weigh in.