I need to open a sports bar

It'll be called "Tragedy's", and be all about teams and players that broke their fans hearts - but only if it's funny. Hence, Bison Dele has no home here, because he just became tragic. See, Tragedy's will be a classic dive sports bar, for the fans who love sports - especially long-suffering fans. So USC, Lakers, Yankees, Red Sox fans? Not fucking welcome. You guys always screw up the ambiance with your attitude. My bar will be for people who love the sport and love their team and love to laugh about the losses.

Clippers fan? I'll have Danny Manning's jersey on the wall. Bengals fans? Get on in here! Cubs fans...well, okay, you can come too, even though you don't have the sense of humor of a Clippers fan.

And the beauty of this is that we all get to enjoy it together when your team puts together the occasional run - you can share the excitement!

So what does the bar look like, you ask? It's so easy. A poster-size photo of Brian Bosworth getting his career comically ended by Bo Jackson. A Lions team photo from 2008, signed by Matt Millen. I thought about having something from the '62 Mets, but the Miracle Mets really made them less sympathetic. Besides, I'm a shameless Seattle guy, so why not focus on the 2010 Mariners, one of the worst-hitting teams of all time? Pictures of Dan McGwire on the field for the Seahawks in '92.

This:













I'd have this over the bar:

And this over the door:

Mary Decker and Bill Buckner. The patron saints of Tragedy's.

Rick Mirer, Shawn Bradley, Sam Bowie; hell, I'm political, I'd even have an area for signs for Howard Dean, Bill Bradley and Barry Goldwater. So? Who's in? Who else should be represented on the wall? You guys weigh in.

Hello, world!

Ahoy hoy, readers! So, I won't lie, this blog exists for one reason and one reason only. Because I left Seattle and need an outlet for my 'hawks talk, and because Bill Simmons had ideas for Seahawks blogs in light of the dawning of the T-Jack era, one of which was funny enough to inspire blatant theft for the name of the blog currently abusing your eyeballs. That's two reasons, but it's my blog, and it makes as much sense as calling our stadium the Clink.

So here's the scoop. I live in LA now. I'm a 'hawks fan, which means I've spent years being grateful for 9-7 seasons, and have pictures of out of control drunken celebrations in 2006. I think last year's team overperformed, and I was ready to be rid of Matthew - seriously, his best days were behind him. So when he left, I was okay with it. But Tarvaris Jackson? Really?

At first, I thought we were throwing the season out and positioning for the Andrew Luck lottery, but then we brought in Rice, and I thought...are we trying to be 7-9 again? I mean, I like winning the NFC West as much as the next guy, but it's sorta time to blow up and build for the future. My faith in Pete was restored in last week's Chargers game, though. T-Jack looked unsettled and often baffled by the action around him, and with the exception of Josh Portis looking like a superstar against the Chargers Future Grocery Store Cashiers, our 'hawks looked like a sure-fire 4-12 team at best. So - Andrew Luck, here we come!

Okay, so that's that. I don't know how this blog will shape up with the season coming up, but expect a healthy blend of 'hawks love and mockery. Today, we get to see how T-Jack throws to Rice and Williams instead of the Sisters of Perpetual Drops, and how the defense handles a 48-year old Donovan McNabb, instead of a professional football quarterback from San Diego.  I propose enjoying plenty of beer. Get to it, 'hawks fans!